Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
