Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
