5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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