Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize