the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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