Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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