I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
