is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
