So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
