Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
