Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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