Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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