During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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