My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
