she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
