'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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