yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
