doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
