is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
