Whod you bang
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He did a backflip because drugs
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