I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize