and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
