I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She's the barista slut.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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