I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
