Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
