she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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