So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
