wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
