If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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