dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
