Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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