I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
