I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
