He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
