can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
