I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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