After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
