you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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