the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize