Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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