i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
