no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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