ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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