is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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