When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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