Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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