Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
