I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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