apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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