Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
