He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
