News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
