That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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