Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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