I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
