Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
