STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
