your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
