Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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