I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
