Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
