drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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