They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
