I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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