why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
